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Can A Vagina Be Haunted?

December 21, 2011

So I came across this book today.Image

And my immediate reaction was “How many abortions do you need to have before your vagina becomes haunted?”, but I read the description and it turns out this woman’s vagina is a portal to another universe or something ridiculous like that. This didn’t stop me from asking if a vagina could be haunted, however, and I’ve decided it’s very possible. In most stories of haunted houses and the like, the house has a history of death. Maybe a family got slaughtered 50 years ago or there was a mass suicide. The world record for most abortions is 22. The vagina could easily create the perfect dwelling for lost souls, angry that they never got a chance at life. Anyone who’s seen “The Shining” of course would remember this scene:Image

A haunted house has an elevator, two doors open to release a gush of blood. The vagina already does this disgusting ritual once a month. Women love to claim that it’s “natural” or is the vagina’s way of “cleansing itself”, and it’s adorable that they think that. But let’s take a look at what’s going on here: The egg is prepped and ready to be fertilized, but that never happens. Suddenly the egg, which was looking forward to becoming a human, dissolves in the ovaries and comes gushing out of the vagina while the female host is gripped in the powerful rage known as PMS. Sound familiar? It should if you’ve ever seen “The Grudge”. The opening sequence displays an on-screen text which says:

“When someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage… a curse is born. The curse gathers in that place of death. Those who encouter it will be consumed by its fury.”

My point is only further proven by the fact that many mothers and grandmothers will refer to a woman’s monthly visitor as “The curse”.

Next week we’ll be discussing the penis’s potential for paranormal activity.

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  1. I’m looking forward to the next discussion.

  2. JJohnston permalink

    Fuck this was a good read.

  3. roman permalink

    where can i find the book?

  4. Sunset permalink

    Oh my…

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